Every person has darkness within them
by FelicitySmaug
Summary: When Felicity asked Oliver for a day off he knew that there was something wrong. He never guessed it would be this painful, though.


This was inspired by "seeing red". I kinda knew that Oliver could possibly have kids. But what if Felicity did too?This is placed a few years in the future.

**I don't own Arrow.**

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"Oliver, can I talk to you for a moment?"

It was right before his last meeting for the day. She realized she might not have a chance to ask him in the layer so she decided to give it a go. Felicity watched him as he slowly turned to face her, a questioning look on his face. "I… I need a day off. I've already spoken to Human Resources and they found a replacement for me for tomorrow. And about our other job… I'm just gonna have to miss that too. It's really important." She finished, not looking him in the yes.

Oliver looked at her for a few seconds, trying to understand what was wrong with her. She looked… sad. Broken. What was going on?  
"Yeah, sure. Me and Diggle will be fine. But can I ask you what's wrong?" He saw Felicity's lips tremble and realized that something was _very _wrong.

"Um, it's… It's personal." Before he could ask more questions she turned around and walked towards the door. "Thank you." She whispered and walked towards her desk.

Oliver knew it was wrong. Felicity obviously wanted to be alone but he couldn't help himself. If she was in some sort of a trouble he needed to know. He needed to know that he can help her. So, that's why he was waiting for her to leave her apartment building. At 10:30 he finally saw her, but she did not looked like her. Her hair was down, no make up on her face. And her outfit was weird. She was dressed in black. Everything on her was black. Oliver had a bad feeling about this. He followed her down the street, carefully observing the way she was acting. It was like it was Felicity, but not the Felicity he knew. He saw her getting into a flower shop, going out with three bouquets. White lilies. She started walking again and it took him twenty minutes to realize where she was headed. The cemetery.

"Oh, no." Oliver whispered and stopped walking for a second. He wasn't sure he had to continue following her. So why did he started walking again?

Ten minutes later they were finally there. Oliver saw Felicity stopping in front of his mother's grave and placed one of the bouquets down. She then walked towards Tommy's grave and placed the second one, kneeling down for a few seconds. When she stood up she turned around and looked at him. Oliver approached her slowly, not knowing what to say. Felicity just sighed and turned around, walking towards the other end of the cemetery, Oliver following her quietly. She finally stopped in front of a grave and sat on the grass before it, not saying a word. Oliver looked at the gravestone and frozed when he read the name. _Annabelle Jade Smoak. January 24th, 2008 - June 16th, 2008. A beloved daughter. _

Oliver felt his chest tighten. _Oh, God, no. _He looked back at Felicity and saw tears falling down her cheeks. He slowly sat next to her. A few minutes later she finally spoke.

"I was eighteen. Me and this guy, we were in a relationship but once he found out I was pregnant he left me. Which didn't really surprised me, I was kinda prepared for it. Once my mother found out she insisted I had an abortion. _You're going into MIT. You can't study and be a mother at the same time. You can't keep it. _But I did. I decided to skip a year, I kept the baby and moved here. Everything was fine. It was hard, being alone and in a new city, but I managed." She quieted for a moment and took a shaking breath. "She was perfect, you know? She had ten little fingers, ten little toes and eyes so big, that when she first looked at me I felt like I was drowning. She was perfect. And then…" New wave of tears poured of her eyes and Oliver grabbed her hand. "Then one night she just… stopped breathing. I left her in her crib and went to wash the dishes. Thirty minutes later I thought I should check on her, see if she needs anything. But it was too late. It was too late and I couldn't save her." She whispered the last part and started shaking. Oliver pulled her into a tight hug and started rubbing her back. Tears formed in his eyes and he shut them tight, trying to be strong for her. He had no idea she was this broken. She was always cheerful, always the one trying to stay positive. Oh, if Oliver had only knew…

They stood like that for ten minutes, when she finally started calming down. She reached into her purse and took out a small photo. On it Felicity was sitting in a big chair, her hair brown, not blonde, smiling down at the baby in her hands. Felicity looked happy on the picture and Oliver realized he never saw her smile the way she did on the photo.

"She was beautiful." Oliver whispered, not recognizing his own voice.

"Yeah, she was. She was the most beautiful little girl in the world. But that's what every mother would say, I guess." Her lips stretched in a tight smile. "And she was so curious. Every little sound she heard distracted her and her head was always turning around, trying to understand where exactly it came from. She was amazing." Felicity sighed and put the photo back in her purse. "You'd think that after a few years it will get easier, but it doesn't. The pain just doesn't go away. And everytime I see a mother with her child it kills me. I can't help but think that that could've been me. And it just hurts, you know? It never stops." Oliver squeezed her hand and she smiled sadly at him. "Thank you for being here with me, even though you followed me." Oliver smiled.

"Anytime. You could've just asked. And if some days it gets too hard you can always talk to me." Felicity tried to stood up and Oliver helped her.

"Thank you. I just need to…" She nodded towards the gravestone and Oliver nodded, stepping back a little. Felicity placed the flowers down slowly. "I miss you, baby girl. I miss you so much. I love you, sweetie. Always have, always will." She bent down a little and placed a gentle kiss on the cold stone. Oliver couldn't stop the tears falling down from his eyes. Felicity was the best person he knew and she did not deserved what happened to her.

In that moment, looking to the gravestone, Oliver swore to the little girl in Heaven that he'll try everything he can do to never let her mother be this broken again.

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I know that this is extremely sad and trust me, I cried while I was writing it. I admit, I have no idea what it is to lose a child and I hope I never have to find out. But to anyone who had ever been through this, I am so sorry and I hope everything's alright now.


End file.
